Arrogance, Narcissism, or Just Plain Not Smart?

Several weeks ago South Carolina's governor, Mark Sanford, got caught lying about his whereabouts. He told his staff that he was hiking the Appalachia Trail and would be incommunicado. Didn't you know right away that this story would end with another woman? Of course you did. Even if politicians hadn't been falling left and right to their carnal proclivities you would have known, wouldn't you? The thing that surprised me about the story was that during his rambling apology, Mr. Sanford said that he was sorry for the pain that he had caused by naming first, "her" (his Argentinian lover), his constituency got second billing, and his wife and kids came in third and fourth. Did anyone else notice this? Wouldn't a smart man put his wife and kids first? And a really smart man would probably make his apology to his lover as clandestine as his tryst, and not part of his public mea culpa. As I added it all up I couldn't help but think that this was NOT a smart man. Curious, I went on-line and read an amorous email exchange between Mr. Sanford and the Argentinian woman. He told her that he liked her tan lines. I can see a line like that coming from someone with braces and acne, but from a senator?   

Mr. Sanford's troubles continue. It has been reported that the governor violated South Carolina law by traveling abroad in first and business class; the state requires lowest fare tickets to be purchased. Mr. Sanford tried to excuse his expensive travel by saying that he could get more rest in the better seats so that he wouldn't look "haggard" at meetings. He really said that! A smart man would surely have feigned hard work saying that he needed the extra space for his laptop and his myriad of charts and graphs to prepare for his meetings. Although someone who requires his staff to use both sides of a post-it might be expected to tough it out and make do in coach.

Mr. Sanford is not alone.  A few weeks ago I saw Oprah interview Elizabeth Edwards.  Ms. Edwards wrote a book about life's adversities after her husband, a past senator from North Carolina, vice-presidential, and presidential candidate, John Edwards, had an affair with a woman that got his attention by calling him "hot".  He was running for the highest office in the free world and it wasn't his first election--you would think that he would've known better, you would think that he was smarter than that.  At the end of the interview, Mr. Edwards came in and Oprah asked him about his wife's book.  Sounding like the victim, he mumbled something about his wife being entitled to have her say.  When Oprah pressed him by asking, "but do you wish she hadn't?", he had a chance to say the right thing, maybe even the smart thing, like "no Oprah, I wish that I hadn't."  But he didn't.  He just reiterated that she was entitled to say whatever she wanted.

Then there's Bill Clinton's inappropriate behavior with a very young intern in the Oval Office--not smart behavior but he would probably not have been impeached if he hadn't lied about it to a grand jury.  I can't help but believe that if he had been man enough and smart enough to own-up to his actions, sincerely apologize, and then never mention it again (not that the press wouldn't pursue it), he would have been better off. As is, he is an impeached president and his legacy will forever carry the pall of his indiscretions.

And what about the women that love these men?  Hillary Clinton stood by her man but now she's the one that wears the pants in the family and she's doing a pretty good job of it.  Jenny Sanford didn't stand by her man on the dais (good for her), but she did give him a second chance before finally calling it quits.  I hope that she finds a soul mate of her own--one that reads Pablo Neruda and Octavio Paz poetry to her (I like your tan lines--are you kidding me!).  Elizabeth Edwards kept up the ruse throughout her husband's presidential run but then wrote the book--I hope writing it was cathartic for her--if not, she should try throwing it at him, every time he walks through the door.

I don't like the hypocrisy of these men that preach family values and then get caught with their pants down, or the ones that lecture us about sharing the wealth as they continue to vote themselves raises and get $400 haircuts.  Or, the ones that rail against big business while secretly making deals with them.  However, I'm not passing judgement on this womanizing and free spending as much as expressing surprise at their handling of their actions after the fact. 

Arrogance?  YES!  Narcissism?  Mr. Edwards and Mr. Sanford seem to worry more about their hair and looks than they do about their families.  Smart?  You be the judge.  You don't have to be Harvard educated but you really should be smart in a real common-sense let's-think-this-through kind of way to hold a major office in this great country.  Of course, it would also be great if you were humble, honest and honorable and could lead by example--is that really asking too much?  Lately, it seems like it may be.  Even President Obama has sneaked into bed with someone other than his wife--the drug companies.  It will be interesting to see how he handles the fallout.